


Young Enough

by craterdweller



Category: Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Episode Related, Episode: s03e10-e11 The Return, F/M, moderate angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-27
Updated: 2015-10-27
Packaged: 2018-04-28 10:34:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5087404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/craterdweller/pseuds/craterdweller
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack, Carson and Sheppard are affected by an Ancient device. Set just after the Season 3 episode The Return.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Young Enough

Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter checked her watch for the third time while standing with most of the rest of her team in the gateroom. Rodney was already inside the puddlejumper waiting to fly them to Atlantis. As always, they were waiting on Daniel.

“He is safe, Colonel Carter,” Teal’c offered in support.

She let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. She hated that her emotions were so transparent. Hated even more that she was in this position again. He was supposed to be safe now. Out of the field and in Washington, not stuck in Atlantis, where according to Richard Woolsey, there’d been a complication to “a situation”. She scuffed her boot and scowled at the door as she recalled their recent return from P4S-275 . A grim faced General Landry had met SG-1 upon their return where he informed them of the Atlantis situation. The Replicators had taken Atlantis and Jack’s standing orders were to nuke the city. After a tense thirty six hours the SGC had finally received word from the Daedalus. Sheppard’s team, with help from Jack, had recaptured the city and defeated the Replicators. Jack and Woolsey had been scheduled to return hours ago aboard the stolen jumper. That was when Woolsey had dialed in and said that Jack, Sheppard, and Dr. Carson Beckett had been affected by an Ancient device that had been accidentally triggered. He provided no further details but requested that she and Daniel get to Atlantis with due haste.

“Sorry,” the recalcitrant team member offered as he rushed in.

“Damn it, Daniel,” Sam started but he cut her off. “I needed a few references to help with any Ancient translations in case we can’t get it out of the database.” He patted his pack and then Sam’s shoulder.

“SG-1, you have a go. Bring him back.” Landry ordered from the control room as the event horizon burst into the room.

“Yes sir! Let’s move out people.”

Thirty minutes later they were stepping into the gateroom on Atlantis where they were greeted by Elizabeth Weir and Richard Woolsey. “SG-1, Welcome to Atlantis. Teyla can show you to your quarters then we can meet in the conference room.”

“Where is General O’Neill?”

“He’s uninjured, Colonel.” She held up a hand. “I know you’re anxious to see him and you have a lot of questions, but please, this is for the best.”

Sam was about to protest further when Cam touched her elbow. “C’mon Sam. Give the lady a chance. The more time we spend arguing the longer we have to wait to find out what’s going on.”

SG-1 was settled around the conference room when they were joined by Weir, Ronon Dex, Rodney McKay and Woolsey. Voices could be heard arguing outside the doorway before they were joined by Teyla Emmagan and three brown haired boys of approximately six years of age.

“For cryin’ out loud would everyone stop staring!”

“Sir? Are you alright? Do you know who I am?” asked a stunned Carter. Rodney had mentioned that the bodies of the three men had reverted to six year old versions of themselves but oddly their memories and brain functions appeared to have remained intact.

“I’m stuck in a six year old body Carter, what do you think?”

“Jack.”

“Daniel.”

“Jack.”

“Daniel.” It was truly impressive to see the O’Neill glare from a six year old boy.

“Alright, why don’t we bring SG-1 up to speed,” Weir suggested.  She held up her hand to silence the rapid fire questions from Jackson and Carter. “Here’s what we know. Colonel Sheppard and his team were conducting a recon of some of the more critical areas of the city when John inadvertently activated an unknown device in the main science lab. Prior to abandoning the city, Doctor Zelenka had been cataloging a crate full of artifacts.”

Rodney interrupted, “Sheppard tripped over the crate and when he reached out a hand to catch his balance, he triggered the device. Next thing I knew, there was a six year old boy, where Colonel Sheppard had been.”

“Well, I wouldn’t have tripped if you’d not left your tools all over the place.”

“Gentlemen, please.”

Weir continued, “When the device was activated, I had been saying goodbye to General O’Neill. One minute we were saying goodbye, the next, there was a small boy struggling to hold onto clothes that were way too big.” She smirked.

“Yes, let’s not dwell.” O’Neill deadpanned.

“I was in the infirmary with Carson, when he too, succumbed to the device,” Teyla added.

“Why only the three of them?” Mitchell asked.

“They all have the ATA gene.” Teal’c surmised.

“Teal’c is correct. They are all strong, natural ATA gene carriers. And since they were not in the same location, I can’t believe it is a coincidence.”

“Are they in any danger? What are their symptoms?”

“They don’t appear to be in any physical danger. We’ve performed hourly medical scans and there has been no significant change since their transformation.”

“Ack! Don’t call our little problem a transformation. Now that Carter is here, she’ll fix it.”

“Jack, you want Sam to fix you?” Daniel teased. He was met with an eyeroll followed by a glare.

Sam smiled. At least the general still had his sense of humor. As relieved as she was that none of them appeared to be suffering physically, she was a little nervous at his absolute faith that she’d be able to fix this.

“Alright then. Rodney, why don’t you show Colonel Carter the device and fill her in on what you’ve discovered so far? Dr. Jackson, I can get you set up on a terminal to search the Atlantis database. Perhaps there are records about the device.”

“I will assist you Daniel Jackson,” Teal’c offered with a slight bow of his head.

“Thanks, Teal’c.”

“What about us?” Vala asked.

“Well, if you wouldn’t mind, you could assist Teyla and Ronon in looking after these three.”

“Elizabeth, I am way too old for a babysitter,” Jack growled.

“I realize that mentally you are the same age as before the accident, but I can’t take the chance of any further accidents. We don’t know what the repercussions of an injury while in your current state would be.”

“General O’Neill, I must agree with Dr. Weir,” Woolsey added.

Jack swallowed his rebuttal when Sam put her hand on his arm, “Please, Sir.  Give me a few hours to get up to speed.” Damn Carter and those blue-eyes of hers. He looked at her closely and saw the worry and stress reflected in her features. When he nodded his agreement, she rewarded him with a brilliant smile.

Daniel caught the almost wistful expression on Jack’s face as he watched Sam leave with McKay. Something was up with his friend. It had been over a month since he’d even spoken with him. True, Jack was swamped in Washington and he’d been busy with SG-1, but he should have made more of an effort to keep in touch.

“Doctor Jackson, Teal’c, if you follow me, I’m sure you’re anxious to get started.”

“Right. Jack? I’ll see you later?” His friend waved him off with an achingly familiar gesture that just seemed wrong on a six year old.

“Right then, so what shall we play?” Vala smiled at the three boys.

“How about you hide, and we don’t seek?” Jack snarked.

“Temper, temper, General. Behave or I’ll give you a spanking.”

Jack dropped his cup horrified. Teyla grinned as she efficiently cleaned up the mess. Things were definitely interesting with SG-1 around.

Mitchell clapped his hands together. “Well then, what shall we do?”

Carson, who had been oddly silent during the meeting, offered, “Well, I’d like to have a look at the medical scans again.”

“Vala, why don’t you accompany Carson? Perhaps, something from your past experiences will be of assistance.”

With a final mischievous look at Jack she agreed readily, “Certainly, darling. Perhaps we can find something useful for Samantha.”

Jack rolled his eyes, determined not to let the alien’s teasing get to him. He sighed. Despite his claims to the contrary, he really did miss the action. He hated being stuck in Washington, away from his team. Away from Carter. He glanced over at Mitchell. Who was he kidding? He didn’t have a chance with Carter, not when there were men like Mitchell. Men that were young and not broken. He thought bitterly. Well, he was young now. Guess the cliche about being careful for what one wished for had some merit. Damn cliches.

Teyla touched his arm gently, “General O’Neill, are you well?”

“Fine. And call me Jack, Teyla. It all seems rather pointless now.”

She wanted to reassure him, but Teyla Emmagan did not believe in giving false hope. Instead she offered the truth, “Colonel Carter will do her best.”  She looked over to where John and Colonel Mitchell were bragging about their exploits as pilots when an idea struck her.  “General O’Neill. Jack,” she corrected at his glare. “Would you do me the honor of sparring with me?”

He looked at her like she had grown a second head. “What?”

“You are an expert at many forms of personal combat, are you not?”

“Teyla, I’m a trapped in the body of a six year old runt!”

“Then it will be a challenge for you to determine how to use that to your advantage.” She could see his mental gears turning as he assessed her sincerity.  Teyla may not know this man particularly well, but she knew of people like him for she only had to ask herself how would she feel if she were in his shoes.

“Alright, on one condition, you don’t go easy on me. If I’m going to be stuck like this, I’d better learn to defend myself.”

“You have my word. And my thanks.” Teyla gave him a short bow before leading him to the training room.

* * *

McKay’s stomach grumbled rather loudly causing Sam to look up from her tablet. “What time is it?”

“Well past lunch. Look Sam, I realize how urgent this is, but I’m hypoglycemic. I need to eat something other than energy bars.”

Sam bit back a sarcastic retort. Rodney had been, well Rodney, but rather subdued. He’d kept his complaining to a minimum. Actually he’d been quite well behaved. Atlantis had changed him. And she reminded herself, that two of his closest friends were also affected by this. She smiled kindly at him. “I think I could use a bite too, Rodney. What do you say we find the others?”

“They’re where?”

“Teyla took him to spar,” Mitchell replied with a shrug. “They’ve been gone a few hours.”

“Yeah, Teyla can go for hours,” Sheppard grinned.

She stormed out of the room before realizing she had no idea where they had gone. She turned to find a bemused Ronon Dex behind her. “She won’t let anything happen to him.” He walked past and then stopped when he realized she hadn’t followed. Sam shook her head and hurried after him. What was wrong with these people?

Smack. Thump. Whack. Wooden weapon sticks collided again and again in rapid succession as Teyla attacked and Jack parried. Sam couldn’t believe her eyes. “What the hell is going on here?”  She demanded.

Her outburst distracted Jack and he only partially deflected an incoming strike. Fortunately, it was only a glancing blow, but it still left his left shoulder smarting. He’d have one heck of a bruise later.

“Carter,” he greeted with a huge grin.

Sam, who’d gone as white as ghost, rushed over to him and began pulling at his shirt to check for damages. “What the hell were you thinking? We have no idea what an injury in this state will do. Teyla, you were supposed to be watching him!” She turned her glare towards the other women and missed Jack stiffening.

“That’s enough, Colonel!” His voice lacked it’s usual bark, but not the intent. He turned to Teyla and offered her a respectful bow, “Teyla. Thank you. I enjoyed our session.”

Teyla returned the bow. “It was my honor, General O’Neill. I thank you for the lesson.” With a final glance at Carter she left the two officers alone.

“Sir, I...”

“Save it, Colonel. Report.”

She bristled. Damn him and his stubborn male pride. She knew she’d overreacted but she had been worried about him.  His mood soured further when she described their lack of progress so far.

“Get some lunch, Carter.” And without another word he left, turning in the opposite direction from the mess.

As she entered the eating area she searched for Jack. Frowning when she didn’t fine him, she sat at an unoccupied table. Sheppard, Beckett and McKay were in the midst of a lively discussion and she wasn’t in the mood for it. Daniel and Teal’c were most likely caught up in their research. She briefly wondered at what Vala had gotten herself up to, but then shrugged it off. She wasn’t sure she was up for Vala’s antics right now anyway.

“May I join you Colonel Carter?” Teyla inquired politely.

Sam closed her eyes and nodded even though she was still furious at the Athosian woman. What had she been thinking sparring with a six year old? With weapons no less.

“General O’Neill is a remarkable man.” Teyla watched as her lunch companion gritted her teeth. She knew Colonel Carter was angry with her, but she owed it to the general to make her understand. He had, after all, saved their lives at no little risk to his own and helped them take back their city. She felt the strong undercurrents of emotion that both officers tried to hide. Teyla had always been sensitive, Carson had even gone so far as to label it as almost empathic. “These last few days have been difficult for him.”

Sam’s head snapped up. “Difficult how? Mr. Woolsey said he was uninjured.”

Teyla took a breath, torn between respecting the general’s privacy and wanting to make this woman who truly cared for him, understand. “Uninjured, yes. But, he spent many minutes underwater in freezing temperatures freeing our ship only to be captured and interrogated by the Replicators.”

Sam’s fork clattered to the table. “What? He was in the ocean?”

“You didn’t know?” Teyla closed her eyes. It had not been her intention to further alarm Colonel Carter, but apparently her superiors had left a few details out.  “John piloted the jumper into a submerged hangar bay. Unfortunately, the controls on our side were inoperable. General O’Neill dove in and was able to operate what he called a ‘dead man’s switch’ from the other side.” Mention of the dead man’s switch caused the remainder of Sam’s color to drain from her face. “When he resurfaced, he was captured by the Replicators. I believe the General resisted their interrogation successfully, but Mr. Woolsey did not.”

“How long was he in the water?” She asked shakily.

“Several minutes. He had to make numerous attempts as Rodney was unsure of what the switch looked like.” She reached across and took Sam’s hand in hers. “Carson examined him after we destroyed the Replicators. His heart was fine and there was no sign of pneumonia or any fluid in his lungs.”

Sam took a steadying breath and pulled back her hand. “And now he is six.”

“No. Colonel Carter, you must understand. He is the same man, trapped in a body of a six year old child. But he is still General O’Neill.” She smiled to herself. “I learned quite a few new moves from him this afternoon. He is quite knowledgeable in the fighting arts.”

“Whose idea was it to spar?”

Here was the crucial moment. At least the Colonel had gotten a grip on her anger and was willing to listen. “General O’Neill’s frustration grows as those around him treat him as a child. Athosian children begin to study basic self defense at around the same age so I thought he would welcome the chance for some physical exertion.”

“And you were the only one not treating him like a kid.” Sam sighed. Jack hated feeling helpless, which was why he was such a notoriously bad patient in the infirmary. “Teyla, I’m sorry. And thank you. Thank you for giving him what he needs.” She closed her eyes. She’d failed him. Again.

Teyla patted her arm. “Colonel Carter do not distress yourself. General O’Neill realizes you are merely concerned for him.  He speaks very fondly of you.”

“Sam! C’mon. I have an idea. Well actually, Sheppard did, but we need to get back to the lab.” Rodney was all but pulling her from the table, unconcerned at his abrupt interruption of a private conversation.

“Teyla, tell him I’m sorry, please.” She managed as Rodney practically dragged her from the table.

Teyla nodded, pleased that the conversation had gone so well. Now if only they could reverse the effects.

* * *

Sam dragged herself back towards her assigned quarters. Their promising lead had turned into a dead end. Since they had worked through dinner she hadn’t seen Jack since their confrontation in the training room. She checked her watch. It was late and he was probably already asleep. But as she passed Daniel’s quarters she heard a child laughing hysterically.

“Daannny. Staaahaap it! Noooo!”

She peered through the open door and had to cover her mouth at the sight before her. Daniel had the General hanging upside down and was tickling him mercilessly.

“Not until you promise to talk to Sam,” Daniel insisted. The General’s laughter took on a rather desperate sound as Daniel found a particular spot on his ribs.

“Okay. Okay. Damn it.” Jack gasped out.  

“Promise.” Daniel tickled him harder for a few minutes until she heard Jack give in.

“Okay! I promise! Damn it!”

Sam ducked back along the wall. She knew she should just go to her quarters, but she was curious as to what Daniel was so insistent that Jack talk to her about.

“God, Jack. If I’d known you were _that_ ticklish,” Daniel teased.

“Try something like that again Danny, and I will kill you.”

“Fine. Fine. But you gave me your word. Sam’s really missed you. I thought after the trip to the cabin that you guys were going to get together.”

“Daniel, she was grieving at the cabin. She had just lost her father, broken her engagement. I wasn’t going to take advantage of her.”

“No, no. I get it Jack. But that was months ago. Why didn’t you call her when she was in Nevada?”

“I did. A couple of times. She wasn’t interested, Daniel.”

“What?”

“I called her a couple of times and she had other things going on.”

What?! She thought back to her time at Area 51. When had he called her? She would have remembered him asking her out. Well, there was that one time she was in the middle of a crucial experiment. But she’d called him back hadn’t she? And then the other time, oh god! He’d brushed it off as no big deal, but he’d thought she was turning him down!

“Well, you know how she gets absorbed in her work. Are you sure she wasn’t just busy?”

“Look, Daniel. She’s not interested. Now can we please drop this. What did you and Teal’c find in the database?”

She turned and fled when the subject changed to the current situation. She’d spoken to Daniel earlier, so she knew he hadn’t found anything. She needed time to think after Jack’s bombshell. She opened a door that led to an empty balcony overlooking the ocean. She slid down the wall and let the tears fall. How had she screwed things up so badly? God, how was she going to fix this? After calming herself she went for a walk where she bumped into Daniel.

“Sam? Have you been crying?” He pulled her into the empty conference room so they could have some privacy.

“I screwed up Daniel and I don’t know how to fix it.”

“Screwed up how? McKay said nothing you guys did affected the device at all.”

“No. Not the device. With Jack. I overheard you guys earlier. I didn’t know he was asking me out, I swear. And I didn’t mean to blow him off, it’s just...”

“Just you got wrapped up in your work. Jack will understand. He knows how you get with your doohickeys.” He smiled at her.

“Will he really? You heard him.”

“Sam. It’s Jack. He’d forgive you anything. You know that.”

“God, Daniel. He shouldn’t have to. He used to ask me to come fishing with him, but I was too chicken and would always make some lame excuse. Finally he stopped asking, with the exception of that time right after my father died.”

“What were you afraid of?”

“I was afraid of what people would think. What they would say.”

Daniel shook his head sadly. For although he knew that his friends would have never broken the fraternization rules, the mere hint of something inappropriate could have been disastrous for their careers.

“And then there was Pete.” She waved him off when he made to interrupt.  “I didn’t realize I was hurting him at the time because I didn’t think he cared for me that way anymore. But that was my fault too. It was my decision to leave things in the room and he honored my wishes. Kept his feelings to himself. God, I’m such an idiot. Here I’ve been missing him like crazy and he thinks I’m not interested.”

Daniel pulled her into a comforting hug. “It’ll be okay, Sam. Just tell him.”

He felt her nod against his shoulder. “I’ll tell him as soon as we get him back to his old self.”

Daniel hesitated, reluctant to bring it up, but he was never one to avoid the tough questions. “Sam, what if we can’t?”

She pulled out of his grasp and gave him that determined look. The one that said there was no problem she couldn’t solve. “Then I’ll stay with him in Atlantis. We could be useful here. And if the Air Force won’t reassign me then I’ll resign. I’m not leaving him and I’m not going to let the IOA or NID get their hands on him either. But, we’ll figure this out, Daniel. We have to, for Jack.”

Daniel nodded. Happy to see steely determination replace the sadness on her face for the first time in many days.

* * *

A night’s sleep had everyone re-energized the next day. They were rewarded with an unexpected breakthrough when Rodney bobbled the device. It was dumb luck that his thumb grazed the recessed switch and a hologram, like the one they’d first discovered on their arrival to Atlantis, appeared.

“Greetings. I am Ayanna. What do you desire?”

“Umm. Hello. Ayanna. I’m Rodney. Can you tell me the purpose of this device?”

The hologram looked confused. “The purpose is to give one what they desire.”

“Um, okay. That’s not really helpful.”

“Rodney. Let me,” Daniel interrupted.

“Ayanna, a few of our friends accidentally triggered the device and we would like to reverse the mistake. Will you help us?”

“I don’t understand. If you take away what they desire, how are you their friends? And there was no mistake. The one called John turned it on. He desired for the City to be happy.”

They looked at Sheppard who merely shrugged.

“Okay, but why were only 3 people affected. Why wasn’t everyone?”

“They were the only ones the City could communicate with directly.”

“Wait, are you implying that Atlantis is sentient?”

“Yes, of course.”

“But why would Atlantis want them to be six year olds? They can barely reach the control panels.” Rodney smirked at Sheppard’s glare.

“At the time John activated the device, Carson was thinking about a birthday party when he was six. Things were simpler. He was happy.”

Carson blurted, “I dinna mean that I wanted to be six again! It was just a stray thought!” He glared at Rodney, “I told you I was no good with this technology.”

“But you weren’t in contact with the device. Sheppard was. How did Atlantis read his thoughts? And General O’Neill wasn’t touching anything at all was he?”

“No. I was giving the General a hug goodbye. The only thing he was in contact with was me,” Elizabeth added grinning at Jack’s scowl.

“And I know I wasn’t thinking about being six again.” At everyone’s shocked look he hastily added, “That sounded better in my head. I meant I was thinking about …”

“He was thinking about the one called Carter and how he wished he ...”

“Ack! Stop right there. No need to share with the class.” Jack fidgeted. He could feel Carter staring and he didn’t want to see the horrified expression that he knew was on her face. However, Sam was anything but horrified. If he had looked, he would have seen the tender smile she had just for him. “Look, we can figure out the hows and whys later, but it’s obvious that none of us want to be stuck in these six year old bodies. Can you reverse this or not?”

“The process will be simple for John and Carson as there are numerous medical scans in the computer that can be used to restore them. However, for Jack, as he is not a regular resident, it may be more difficult.”

“But I performed a full scan just before this happened. I wanted to make sure that he wasn’t suffering any ill effects from the time spent in the water.”

“Yes. But that is the only data. What if there are errors or omissions?”

“Look, I’m willing to take the chance.”

“Wait! What are the risks to General O’Neill?”

“Well the most obvious of course is that the procedure could kill him. Or that he would be damaged.”

“Sir ...”

“Carter there is no way in hell I am going to stay trapped in a six year old mini me!”

“That’s it! What about Jon?” She turned to Ayanna. “General O’Neill was cloned by a renegade Asgard a few years ago, but the Asgard had put in a safeguard against the procedure. Supreme Commander Thor was able to fix the clone so that he was healthy and would live, but he was not the same age as Jack. Could you use him as your other point of reference?”

“Yes. That might work. I will need to run some calculations. Is it possible to bring this clone to Atlantis?”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Sir? Jack?” Sam and Daniel said at the same moment.

“Carter. Daniel. Mini-me is your plan B. If the process fails, then you can just catch him up on the last few years. Heck, you might be better off with plan B. At least he still has two good knees and …”

Sam asked the room, “Can you all give us a minute?” She indicated that Daniel and Teal’c stay.

“Of course. Why don’t we wait for you in conference room,” Elizabeth suggested.

When it was only the original SG-1 remaining Daniel, as usual, broke the silence.

“Jack? What’s going on?”

Jack stubbornly stared at the wall, refusing to look at his former teammates. He hated this kind of thing. Hated feeling exposed and weak. But Daniel wasn’t going to leave this alone. He might as well just get it over with, quick, like ripping off a bandaid. “I’m tired, Daniel. Even if the procedure works, maybe I should just turn over this life to mini-me. He’s got a lot more years left in him. Hell, he could even go back out in the field instead of sitting useless behind a desk. And I won’t just use him whenever it’s convenient. He deserves better. Hell, he is better.”

“What about us?” Carter sniffed, stifling a sob. “Am I supposed to just watch you die or walk away before we even …” She couldn’t continue as the emotional turmoil from the last week finally overwhelmed her.

Her distress got his attention. He turned around but was helpless to hold her like he wanted. “Carter.” She wouldn’t look at him. “Sam, please.” She finally looked at him and he could see the anger through her tears.

“What? Am I supposed to be happy, Jack? He may be genetically identical to you, and he may share some memories, but he is not you. He’s not the one that held me when my father died. He’s not the one I’m in love with. And if you think a bad knee or a few grey hairs are what matters to me, then maybe you don’t know me at all.” She ran from the room, leaving one stunned Jack O’Neill behind.

“I shall accompany Colonel Carter. Do not be long O’Neill,” Teal’c said sternly.

Jack slumped into the nearest chair and rubbed a hand over his face. “God, I’m an ass.”

“Yes, you can be. But I’m not the one that you need to apologize to. Go talk to her Jack. You both deserve to be happy.”

He sighed and frowned down at his six year old body. “How the hell am I supposed to fix things when I look like this?”

“You just do, Jack. She was willing to give up everything and stay with you if this can’t be reversed. Tell her how you feel. And don’t hold back, she deserves to hear it all. In the meantime, I’ll call Landry and see if we can get Jon out here.”

“I want the choice to be his, Daniel. I meant what I said about him deserving to have his own life and make his own choices.”

Daniel nodded. As if any version of Jack O’Neill would ever refuse, particularly if it was for her.

Jack didn’t have to search far. He found them on the same balcony she had escaped to before. With a silent nod, Teal’c took his leave. The two sat for several minutes in silence, each lost in their own misery. Finally Jack started. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

He sighed. She wasn’t going to make this easy on him. “For being an ass for starters, but you deserve a better apology than that, so please let me explain before you dismember me and dispose of all the evidence.”

She kept silent, which he took for an agreement. He’d hoped for at least a twitch of amusement, but now wasn’t the time for his inappropriate sense of humor.

“I’ve done a lot of things in my life that I’m not, that no one should…” He took a deep breath and started again, “My past isn’t pretty, Carter. And I know some of it has come out and somehow you’re still here. I can’t help but think that wouldn’t be true if you knew everything. And I wouldn’t blame you.”

“Jack.”

“Please Sam. Let me finish.” At her nod he continued, “The one thing I could be proud of was some of the good we did going through the gate. Things like saving Cassie. And during those brief moments, I could believe that I was a good man and somehow worthy of you. But I can’t go through the gate anymore, Sam. I’ve grown old. And the things that I do in Washington, it feels like what’s left of my soul is being sucked dry. I’m not worthy of you. You deserve someone better, younger and way, way smarter. You were right to turn me down, Carter. Please don’t let me drag you down. You deserve all the happiness you can find.”  He bowed his head and studied his shoes.

“Are you done?” Her tone was brittle.

He nodded.

“You’re right about one thing, Jack. You are an ass. The Jack O’Neill I fell in love with didn’t put me on a pedestal. He treated me like an equal. He never gave up like a coward. When you’re done feeling sorry for yourself, maybe you’ll find him. But I won’t bother waiting because I’ll be too busy being ‘happy’.” She stormed out the door leaving him alone with his thoughts.

Twenty minutes later alarms sounded throughout the city. Six Wraith darts strafed the towers. Sheppard, now back to his adult self, quickly made his way to the chair room. He took out four darts with drones, but two of the darts were using the city’s own towers to evade. The Daedalus and her 302s were tied up with the hive ship in orbit and so were unable to intercept. That’s when the puddlejumper entered the fray. Its first drone took out one dart before they even knew it was there. The final dart rammed the jumper in a kamikaze maneuver and both vessels crashed into the ocean in a fiery ball.

“Who’s flying the jumper? Sheppard’s in the chair and I’m here,” Rodney asked the room. Elizabeth pressed on her earpiece. “Dr. Beckett, report.”

“Standing by, Elizabeth. Is someone injured?”

“No. We’re trying to figure out who was flying the jumper that took out two Wraith darts.”

“Ah, where’s Jack?” Daniel asked looking around the Control Room.

“Rodney, scan for General O’Neill. And check the jumper bay logs.”

“Ah. Oh. It seems it was General O’Neill that took the jumper.”

“Oh my god!” Sam covered her mouth.

“Colonel Sheppard, come in.”

“Sheppard here. I’ve heard enough to get the gist of it. I’m on my way to the jumper bay to start a search and rescue. Would appreciate any help that can be spared.”

The sensors picked up one human lifeform amidst the floating wreckage. Sheppard maneuvered the jumper as close as he dared to about a meter above the ocean surface. As the best swimmers, Mitchell and Daniel dove in to rescue the unconscious Jack. With the assistance of Teal’c they carefully lifted him into the jumper where Carson was waiting with a portable crash cart. Vala hugged Sam as the doctor used the defibrillator repeatedly. As soon as he got a heartbeat, Sam crawled over and carefully wiped some of the blood from a cut over his eye. She needed to touch him, to reassure herself that he was alive.

“He’s big again,” Vala exclaimed.

“He must have ordered Ayanna to go ahead and attempt the reversal no matter what the risks,” Cam concluded.

“He would not have been able to operate the jumper in his altered form. It was fortunate the procedure worked. We could not have defeated the Wraith without him.”

His vitals crashed twice more enroute back to Atlantis so it was a very distressed group that awaited word from the infirmary. No matter how tired and bruised, no one was going to rest until they knew the fate of their friend. An exhausted but relieved Beckett finally opened the privacy curtain. “He’s stable. There was no appreciable damage to his heart and his lungs are clear. He’s got some broken ribs and quite a few bruises and a few burns, but with some proper rest he’ll recover.”

“Can we see him?”

“Not yet, lass. He hasn’t regained consciousness yet. Now, unless someone needs some medical attention, you should all go and rest. I promise to call you when he’s ready for visitors.”

“Can I stay with him, please?” Sam whispered her request.

Carson bit back his refusal when he saw her haunted look. “Ok. One of you may stay with him at a time. But, only in shifts of a few hours. The last thing he needs is any of you collapsing from exhaustion.”

By silent agreement, they allowed Sam first watch. They looked on sadly as she collapsed into the chair by his bed and covered his hand with her own. The tears streaming silently down her face as she wrestled with all of the things that remained unsaid between them.

**Author's Note:**

> Trope Bingo free space - kidfic (de-aging/age regression)


End file.
